Nicola Barker Story

Mr. Kip is presented well as a villain. Just the fact that he has a nickname like "Mr. Kip," and that he gave it to himself, tells what kind of a character he is. Twice the author uses the word "deign" in reference to Mr. Kip: when he deigns to drive the Aston Martin (pg. 69) and when he deigns to drive Gillian home (pg. 71). It's a good word to get across his sense of superior character, like he's some kind of nobleman helping a peasant. I like the line that "Mr. Kip told Gillian to get out and look" for the windshield wiper (pg. 71). I just thought it was really funny because he's dead serious about having her get out in the rain and look for something.

I'm not sure that I like the final line of the story, that "she was a truly modern female." It feels like "they all lived happily ever after," like the author is explaining the point of the story. This story kind of reminded me of Raymond Carver's story with its briefness, but Carver ends his story more subtly, with the husband thinking about the shining car when he first bought it. It makes you think and connect that image with the rest of the story, whereas maybe the meaning of this story is made too obvious. But I don't know, because maybe the author wanted it that way. Maybe she was aware that she wasn't leaving any subtlety, and maybe that fits in with what she was trying to do with the story.

Obviously a short story is supposed to be short, but some are longer than others. This was only about three full pages. Does the briefness of this story work?

Willing

Somethings that I noticed about the writing in "Willing" is that theauthor always seems to have a link about what she said in the beginning of the story and what she says at the end of the story. For example, when she talks about how Sirde is older and slighty sagger than she used to be she adds in a metaphor about the jack 'o lantern and how it was rotten. I'a almost as if she is writhing away just like the jack 'o latern that she left. But also how she's still trying to keep what she once was. She can't move on and it seems like that she's trying to run aways from herself. Another example, is when Walter talks about the birds in the middle of story. Moore goes back to it at the end examplinhow Sirde finally was able to become that bird and fly aways from the hole she put herself in. I understand the concept of "Willing," that Sirde was always ready to go for what was infront of her, but at the same time I don't think she was willig. I don't think she was willing to finally go back to where her heart truelly wanted to be. She was scared of that place and so she decided to run aways from it. I don't think she truelly can be willing if she doesn't try to even face her fears. But at the same time I guess that's what willing is, trying everything else out except the one thing that you love the most.

Willing

In the beginning of the story it goes into Sidra and her lifestyle as an actress. Trying to make it in Hollywood, but her age has her limited. She obviously is tired of chasing a dream in which it seems she is not right for but, it is her passion; to be recognized, appreciated and accepted as the professional she tried so hard to be. Her frustration ultimately has her running away. Trying to search for a sense of realness. Something tangable and fulfulling. She Spends her days in loneliness. Basking in her fears, regrets, and past. She wanted to be so much more than she had become and it haunted herinner being. She would only speak to a few friends, Tommy and Charlotte. Both who told her that she was better than what she had let herself become but, she wasn't buying. She had an openess about herself. pg 414"She could rip open a bone and speak out of it, simple and clear. " Sidra wasn't one to buy into everyones opinon she knew what the deal was, how to work people to her advantage. She knew what she was and what she had to offer. She was tring to forget about the emptiness that LA had brought to her life and tried fill it with ordering out and listening to self esteem tapes. She stared out into the open body of water that was Lake Michagan. Reviewing where it all went went wrong and where she wanted to be. She had a strained relationship with her parents. Her father didn't approve of her past roles and had never gotten over it. Her mother was secretly jealous of her daughter and Sidra was beginning to be sick of them. She met a guy at a Blues bar that caught her attention. He had admitted to not being a big movie watcher which put Sidra at ease. She met someone that didn't have an opinion on her based on her career. Although they were an unlikely couple she pursued it. He told her about the only movie he could remember seeing. It was about a city of people that realized they were part of a dream. The people knew that if the person that was dreaming them awoke they would disappear, so they found a way to keep him asleep. The only thing wrong was when he dream changed so did they. So when the man dreamt of flamingos all of the people in the dream would become the flamingos and they'd fly way. She found this interesting. There was something about him that intrigued her. As they went through the motions her friends tried to warn Sidra about the signs but, she ignored them. To her, it seemed as though making a future and having a family was more important than finding that "someone special". She settled for him. He knew that she didn't really love him but though what they had could be enough. She had made it obvious to him through her attitude torwards him on many occasions that she didn't repect him. When an incident proved to her that he was an idiot she jumped at the opportunity to let him go. After she ended the relationship her depression got the best of her. She started to lose her grasp on reality and decided to give him another shot. To fill the void. She did like him afterall. So she gave him a call and they talked. He came over and told her about a business dinner with a female client he had for the following day. Sidra knew. She felt it inside her bones, the truth. He told her it was just business. She didn't trust him though. She called him all night and got no answer. He did not come home. She felt the sickness start up inside. When he finally picked up the phone the following day it was in his voice. He came over and admitted it was a date. He told her he didn't sleep with her but, Sidra sensed it. pg 422 A bone opened up in her gleaming and pale and she held it to the light and spoke from it. "I want to know one thing? Did you have oral sex?".
He after trying to avoid the answer he had, admitted to it. She then became cold inside. She turned off all of her emotions and died inside. She was no longer there. Just a body. Just an empty being. He cried there. It didn't move her though. It was as if her bones close and she became part of another dream. He asked her "What can I do?" But like the flamingo he had descibed in the dream she had flown away. She was already gone.

I loved this story so much. There was so much in it that remeinded me of my past relationships and some of my friends relationships. There was a realness that i could really appreciate about it.

"Willing"

I think that Sidra's and Walters realtionship will continue on in the same direction that it has been headed . It seems as though Sidra is very unhappy with her life but uses the fact that she is a "minor movie star , once nominated for a major award", to keep her going. No matter how upset she gets, she keeps on brining us back to that. I think that alot of times, people who are in any type of Hollywood business are very unhappy with their lives but hide behind their careers to mask this unhappiness. They date anyone and everyone regardless of whether or not they like them, and things just become kind of a rountine. I think its kind of irnoic how throughout most of the story Sidra can not stand Walter. At times she describes how much she dispises him, but then the second that he is going on a date with someone else, she gets all upset and decides that she would possibly like him again if he would become a "begging man". Everyone is always criticizing men for their behavior in realtionships, how they always sleep around with whoever will sleep with them, but sometimes people fail to see the games that woman play as well. Sidra's actions in this story display this. Even from the beginning when she first meets him, she teetertotters between liking him and not liking him- her mind would change in a matter of minutes. "there is something about him that she liked, something earthy beneath the act." Then a few lines later after he had been talking to her for a while- she says " Now she hoped he wouldnt go on. She had changed her mind a little". Throughout a good portion of the play she talked about how lonley she was, and how boring her little life was in her hotel room at the Days Inn. I think that she just wanted someone to try to fill the void that she felt inside. Many times in the story, the other minor characters mention that they were envious of her because she would "always get the parts in the play that everyone else wanted"- and even knowing this, she is still completely unhappy with her life. Which just goes to show you that even if people on the outside think that your life is great and would love to trade with you, it doesnt always mean that the person who is living it is actually enjoys it. Just because someone else is envioius of your life- doesnt make you any happier.

I think that the dream that Walter has can be compared to the lives that people live today. When he is describing it he says "A man is having a dream about a little country with little people... and then the people realize that they are only creatures in this means dream and they wouldnt exist if he wakes up." They institutionalize this man because they dont want to "not exist" but in the mean time it affects the mans actual life. It can be compared to alot of people today because sometimes they dont really care who they inconvience as long as they are able to live that lives the way that they want too. I also think that Sidra's realtionship with Walter can be parralled with this dream because she doesnt care how her not liking him would affect Walter. As long as she was the center of attention and they were talking about things that were in "her world" then she was content- but she did not want to hear about his job or anything that he is interested in. Also I think its ironic how at the end of the story Sidra kind of detaches from the situation and in the last few lines of the story, she ends up being "gone , gone ,gone out the window, gone, gone" just like the birds that were in his dream.

By being able to witness her reaction to Walter sleeping with someone else, do you think that Sidra truly cared about him and just didnt realize what she had when she had it. Or do you think that she chose to date him because it was someone that would be completely smitten by the idea of dating someone who was in a movie, and would never leave her? Was he just a source of comfort for her, or did she truly love him?

Willing

I think the story could have been told in the first person even if Sidra’s state of mind is unreliable, because describing her state of mind is the point of the whole story. Even using the third person, the story is focused on Sidra’s perspective and life. Moore created a depressive and sad character which somehow doesn’t really make the reader feel bad. I think this is because the tone of the story is also humoristic. It is told as if it’s a joke, in a sarcastically manner, but it has also a deeper gloomy side. I think the author uses a dark humor. For example, using images as “She hadn’t been given the proper tools to make a real life, she decided, that was it. She’d been given a can of gravy and a hairbrush and told, there you go. She’d stood there for years, blinking and befuddled, brushing the can with the brush.” This sounds miserable, but it’s also funny. Also when the author keeps repeting that Sidra is “a minor movie star, once nominated for a major award”, it seems that Sidra’s life is described in a very unimportant way, as if her miserable life was a normal thing to happen.

I liked this story because the author tells a very sad and realistic story but is still able to make the reader laugh. I think the way she does this is to put the depression on the same level as very unimportant things, that the reader would never expect to read, as for example saying that the solution to all the suffering in the world is to give hugs: “These days, she was reading thin paperback books by a man named Robert Valleys, a man who said that after observing all the suffering in the world – war, starvation, greed – he had discovered the cure: hugs.” The author takes the suffering for granted, she doesn’t seem to want the reader to realize how people suffer and maybe take action against this, but she only makes fun of it. I think that this way of writing the story could eventually work better because the reader laughs, and then thinks how this can be happening. I think the story pushes the reader into reflection.

By reading the last sentence: “But this dream had now changed, and she was gone, gone, out the window, gone, gone”; what do you think about the comparison between Sidra’s life and the movie about the Dream? What do you think will happen with Sidra and Walter’s relationship?

Willing

There are a few similes that I really like in this story. For example, when she says that "it came out wrong, like a lizard with a little hat on" (pg. 416). It's just a funny and unique way to describe something. Another one is the piano keys that are "shiny and mocking like an opened bone" (pg. 423), which references an earlier statement that "she could rip open a bone and speak out of it" (pg. 414). It's an interesting image of her pain, a broken bone that speaks. I think both similes reflect well on the ability of the writer because they aren't boring or predictable.

I also like one particular character detail, that Tommy "had made himself the make-believe author of a make-believe book of essays called One Man's Opinion, and when he was bored or inspired, he quoted from it" (pg. 412). It's the kind of specific detail that gives the character an identity, and it also emphasizes their friendship that they have a recurring inside joke. I thought it was humorous, like speaking in the third person, something that's obnoxious and playfully self-deprecating about his opinions.

One thing I didn't necessarily like is the way she uses comparisons to describe things. For example, "She thought of it as a cross between London and Queens, with a dash of Cleveland" (pg. 412). Later, "She felt like a cross between Anna Karenina and Amy Liverhaus..." (pg. 422). Also, "...a cross between shyness and derision" (pg. 420). I think it leaves too much for the reader to fill in. Somewhere between shyness and derision is kind of vague, it's not a sharp description. How many people have been to London, Queens, and Cleveland? How many have read "Anna Karenina"? If the reader doesn't know those cities or that character, then the references might go over their head. If they do know them, they don't necessarily have the same impression as the author. I guess that can be said about any description or reference, it has to mean something to the reader, so maybe these comparisons aren't any different. But I don't know if I would use them, or at least very rarely.

Could the story be told in the first-person, or would Sidra's state of mind make it an unreliable perspective?

PROOF

Crazy, well I don't think she was crazy. I think when someone close to you dies, you create ways to connect with them again. The scene alluded to her being crazy and i think we obviously need to read the whole play to discover whether or not she was crazy or if these sentimental moments are meant to deal with the pain of loss. I think craziness entails things or episodes that aren't natural. I think with Cathrine seeing her father and talking to him is a somewhat natural thing to do. Now thats not to say if she continues to talk to him that it would be normal, but considering she just lost her father, I think it is okay to assume that it isn't her being crazy.

On the other hand, Robert brought his daughter champagne, and when he 'dissapears' the champagne bottle remains. It is also there for her sister to see the next morning. I wonder about that bottle and whether or not that is a clue about what will happen...

Do you think the champagne bottle is significant?